Caught Between Faith & Fear: My 9-11 NYC Journal, Part 1

I have decided, as we near the 20th anniversary of the most deadly terrorist attack on American soil, to share excerpts of my journal . . . of the events leading to my husband and me being in NYC that fateful day . . . and of insights I have since gleaned.

Monday, September 10, 2001

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord (Jeremiah 29:11a).

From my journal: My husband, Dennis, and I will leave for New York City in an hour or so. We’re on our way to be taped tomorrow afternoon for the Ananda Lewis Show (King World Productions). According to the plan, we fly out at about noon and land at 2:45 in Newark, NJ. Dennis is a nervous wreck! Not so much because of the show, but because of all the things that must be done before we get to the airport. “Let’s leave early!” he keeps saying. “Are you packed? Are you ready to go?” I remind him we have plenty of time, but he insists that we leave much earlier than the 10:30 departure I had planned. “You never know what could go wrong between here and the airport,” he reminds me. “Be prepared for the worst and then you won’t be upset when the worst happens.”

Looking Back (2021): The Ananda Lewis Show had just begun. Literally. The first episode aired on September 10, 2001. We were to film on September 12. The segment was about perfectionists and perfectionism. How Dennis and I ended up on the show is a story within itself.

Months previous, I’d read a book about those people who wants things “just so” and then rated and reviewed it at Amazon. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist, I suppose, in that I like order. I want the towels folded a certain way, alternating complimentary colors in the stacks. I want my rugs straight. I prefer the drinking glasses to fit neatly on the shelf. Everything has a place. Everything in its place. Before bed, I make sure that nothing is left out or lying around and all pillows are fluffed and in their proper place on the sofa, so that when I get up the next morning, I walk into an orderly house and sit on an orderly sofa.

A month or so before the flight to NYC, one of the KWP producers contacted me. Having read my review, she asked if my husband and I would like to be on the show. All expenses paid. They would fly us in, pick us up by limo, put us up in a Midtown hotel, take us back to the airport, fly us home. Sounded like a lot of fun to me!

My husband was initially reluctant, but then decided along with me that it would be fun. He and I had not had much of a honeymoon, so we declared that, after 22 years of marriage, we’d arrive in the city that never sleeps a little early and leave out a little late. My mother, on the other hand, was upset. She couldn’t say why, she just felt like it was bad idea to go. But I told her/reminded her that “you never like it when I fly.”

About two weeks before takeoff, King World sent a film crew from Winter Park (FL) to the house. While they filmed me folding towels and straightening rugs, etc., my daughter happened to come by. If I remember correctly, they filmed her briefly, asking about being raised by someone with such quirks as wanting a neat and orderly home. Afterward and while Jess was still there, the producer handed me her card. After she left, I placed it on my desk, then spent time with my daughter.

We didn’t know it then, but that one moment would prove significant on the fateful morning of September 11, 2001.